Reflecting on motherhood and growth

4/2/2024

This past year, I have stepped into a world that was once familiar a little over 20 years ago- returning to college. It has been an incredibly transformative experience, marked by a profound sense of nostalgia and self-discovery, while as a mother, learning to let go of control and recognize my children are now young adults. The experience has evoked a range of emotions, from despair to hope and confidence. A sense of apprehension and uncertainty about reentering an academic environment made the experience daunting, yet I am very eager to learn. The familiarity of the college setting was once a distant memory, prompting a deep reflection on how much time has passed, how much has changed, and how much has not.

Spring is here, and today marks the 20th anniversary of becoming a mother. As I reflect on the past 20 years of motherhood, words seem insufficient. These two decades have been filled with profound growth and unwavering love. From the moment I held my child in my arms for the first time, I embarked on a journey that has shaped me in ways I could have never imagined. I'll never forget how small and fragile they seemed in my arms and the promise I made to do my best to dedicate my energy to keep them protected within my capacity. Being a mother for two decades has been a privilege beyond measure. It has taught me the true meaning of selflessness, patience, and unconditional love. Through every milestone, every challenge, and every triumph, both of my children have been my greatest teachers, guiding me to become a better version of myself.

Watching my child navigate a world that can very loudly make them feel isolated has been no easy task. The pain a mother feels watching their child struggle in an unkind world is unlike any other, even if that cruelty and isolation are familiar. It's a deep ache that reverberates through every fiber of her being, a constant knot in her heart that tightens with each tear shed by her child. Witnessing the innocence of my beloved child confronted with the harsh realities of life is a torment that pierces through my soul. Every setback, every disappointment, every unkind word or deed inflicted upon my child feels like a dagger to my own heart. There is this profound helplessness, as I cannot shield my children from the cruelties of the world no matter how fiercely I wish I could.

Yet resilience is born from adversity, and I am comforted as I watch with pride and sadness as both my children bravely face each challenge head-on. I can only offer words of encouragement, arms of solace, and a steadfast presence, hoping to provide a beacon of light in the darkness. I often wonder how I can provide a path for them to know the world's joys when the world is clinging to separation and negativity. We often see conflicts, prejudices, and various forms of negativity dominating headlines and affecting people's lives. This pervasive negativity can make it challenging for parents to foster a sense of optimism and hope in their children, let alone ensure they experience the beauty and joy life offers. As a mother, witnessing this reality can be disheartening and even daunting, as I want nothing more than for my children to grow up in a world filled with love, kindness, and opportunity. I actively seek ways to provide a path for my children to experience the world's joy despite its flaws. Instilling values of empathy, compassion, and resilience is no easy task; teaching my children and many others to see the beauty in diversity and encourage them to make positive contributions to their communities.

As my child embarks on this journey into adulthood, I want them to know how incredibly proud I am of the person they are. I hope that as they step into this new chapter, they know that the world is full of endless possibilities for them to explore. I hope they embrace every opportunity with courage, curiosity, and an open heart. I hope they love themselves and know that they deserve love. I hope they embrace and celebrate who they are. I hope they remember to have grace with themselves and others and that making mistakes is okay, for they are the stepping stones to growth and wisdom.

As I remind them to stay true to their values, dreams, and the unique qualities that make them shine, I must also remind myself. It is so easy to forget as we navigate the complexities of adulthood, and there is never a stop date on learning. It is so important to trust in yourself, your abilities, and your resilience to overcome any obstacle that may come your way.

As I celebrate these milestones, I am filled with profound gratitude for the privilege of nurturing, guiding, and loving my children. They have brought light, purpose, and infinite blessings into my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Here's to the next chapter of our journey, filled with love, laughter, and endless adventures.

Thank you, my child, for challenging me to be better, do better, be kind, be patient, give grace, and inspire my work. Happy Birthday. Thank you for making me your mother.

Miigwech.

Love,
Mama